I’m sitting in a coffee shop listening to “December” by Sara Bareilles. It’s the right song for me today. The first week of December hasn’t been easy. It’s difficult to live in the uncertainty of a new life. I’ve been moving so much since my college graduation in May that Facebook keeps recommending events halfway across the country. My friends are all in different time zones, and I don’t know what my next month looks like, let alone my next year. I keep reminding myself that this is still my life, even if it feels unrecognizable at times.
The astrologer Chani Nicholas wrote recently, “The living is in the trying.” I deeply love that. Giving it my best, again and again. Starting each day a little more open, a little more honest. Writing a newsletter and trusting that my words will reach you, wherever you are.
You might be wondering: Is this newsletter named after a song in The Sound of Music? …Yes. It’s one of my favorite musicals ever. Back in 2008, I fulfilled a long-held dream, playing Brigitta in a college theater production of that very show.
Honestly, “Something Good” was the song I fast-forwarded through as a kid. It comes at the end of the movie, as Maria and Captain von Trapp confess their love for each other. Julie Andrews and Christopher Plummer sing with such intimacy, their sweet faces close together, about loving another person for all that they are, no matter what has happened in the past… but I was more interested in rewatching the opening number until the VHS tape wore out. But that song title has stayed with me. Something Good.
Whenever I start working on something vulnerable, like a film or a personal essay, I’m struck with such intense impostor syndrome that I have to inflate my ego however I can, just to get something on the page. I usually look at old things I’ve made, sit up straight, and turn on my ‘badass’ playlist (featuring the Pirates of the Caribbean theme song and - I have to admit - Taylor Swift’s “Ready For It”). But my best strategy? I save my documents with motivational titles, so every time I threaten to close out or delete, I’m reminded that I got this. Earlier this year, I thought of The Sound of Music and landed on the best title yet: Something Good. At the beginning, who knows how a project will turn out? I have to tell myself: It’ll be something. And that something will be good.
So here I am, at the beginning of this newsletter, hoping that you’ll find the same joy in this new project as I do. I’ll release a newsletter every few weeks, full of whatever I’ve been into lately. Expect article recommendations, poetry, stuff I’m thinking about, jokes, and a whole lot of curiosity about the Internet and the world.
What I’m reading
Wishing the world could be more soft. How to write a perfect pop song, according to Jack Antonoff. The Trump Cabinet’s Bible teacher doesn’t give a shit about the separation between church and state. Dream job: doing the illustrations for Great British Bake-Off. I’m thankful that the world has Rain Dove. How fandoms are helping people work through trauma. And, as always, the Pixar Theory.
What I’m watching
The L Word trailer, again and again. The engrossing 4-part documentary College Behind Bars. A little boy dancing because it makes him happy (as people give him cash?). This dreamy MisterWives music video. Frozen 2, which unexpectedly made me bawl.
Recommending…
Pomegranate seeds, the most beautiful snack. Trying out a new coffee shop. The Self Control app, if you get as distracted by the Internet as much as I do. Reaching out to someone who helped you see the person you could become (thanks to my summer camp zine teacher from 2014, who swore unapologetically and talked about healing and was there for me even when summer was over). Chani Nicholas’s horoscopes and life-giving email list, in which I found my motto: The living is in the trying. Drawing, even if you think you’re bad at it.
This week, don’t forget: Loisfoeribari. There are 25 days left in December, this great month of transition. I’m going to find moments of joy in each one.
Whatever’s happening in your life, you have a great team cheering you on. I’m making my GO YOU!! sign right now.
Sending you love today and every day,
Kira